I love trading

Today I blow up again... "ajsndfasfbahsbfzxjjsdnfjsdnf;ks\jdf" - angry bastard I am. So much bad feelings in me... It hurts, it hurts a lot. Not for "how much", it hurts because I promised myself to not do that again in the past, but I did that again - "Happy ending -> INPLAY"-  in the doing time I recognized that I am doing this, but I could not resist... I knew I am doing bad thing(someday in the past it rescued me!), but it was more powerful emotion than my conscious mind, I wanted to get it back!... It was more powerful than >2 years screen time, knowledge, reading, experience and all efforts and all dreams? It seems I am trying to convince someone.... I STILL CAN'T GIVE UP and let go and be humble and I must fight till the end...
So I am down from 300 to 100 eu balance from this emotional break out. This balance I was building 13 days from 50, and today I fucked up everything. Well, I will survive... I found strength to leave that one hundred :) I believe I am getting better in technical side and my emotional side will catch up "maybe" ... I NEVER THOUGHT THAT TRADING IS SO HARD before I started doing it, I always thought I am very very smart and I am very good at mind games. Well, it's another surprise after few trading years that emotional intellect is more important in this battle arena...
I changed trading strategies/styles. At this time I traded ONLY favs with "price action patterns", but it was very emotional, so unnatural, harsh, STILL very promising... so hard to change old behavior patterns from scalping >10 odds.
Well, enough talk, good night, today is good lesson for me, and I hope still someone finished to read this post from a guy after 5 pints of beer in the night... :D

Please watch it reverse...

"IN TIMES OF ADVERSITY, TELL  YOURSELF THAT YOU CAN DO IT. GREAT TRADERS ARE NOT BORN AND THEY ARE NOT CREATED, EITHER. THEY CREATE THEMSELVES" - Bob Volman, Forex price action scalping